The HEART of the matter

Remember those good ole' days on the school playground? Everything was going great, you had friends, you laughed together, slid down the slide, swung on the swings, played tag, boy, life was grand! Then, you are hit with a rock or someone inadvertently "shoves" you. What?? Thought we were having fun? Thought everyone liked each other? It was then you had the realization that not everyone was going to be your friend. Very sad moment, indeed! No matter what you did, that person didn't like you. Often it was jealousy, or they were just plain mean and didn't care for anyone. But it hurt. At home, you would cry to your mom, wondering what it was you did wrong. Always searching for some way to redeem the friendship. The bruises on the outside came no where hurting as much as the ones on the inside.

Unfortunately, these relationships were not only on the school playground when you were eight years old. It continued to happen as you got older, someone here and someone there, would set their heart and mind against you. As you became an adult, you learned to mask the feelings with laughter or joking. But the pain remained, the turmoil in your heart did not subside. 

I understand. I am that little girl on the playground. The one who tried to be everyone's friend. I never understood when someone didn't like me. I would go to great lengths to get them to like me. It was very taxing. And many times, it still didn't matter, they just didn't like me.

I wish I could tell you that as an adult I overcame those issues and have not had any feelings of rejection or confusion when it comes to friendships. That would be a lie. It still hurts when people dislike me. It hurts to be talked about (that's called gossip, if you didn't know). It hurts to be teased. It hurts when people are jealous of me for no apparent reason. They treat me with disdain and disrespect. Has anyone ever dealt with this? I am certain I am not alone. I could stop right here and go into the "whys" for their ill treatment. It would be a lengthy discussion. But the core reason, is their heart. They have heart issues they have yet to overcome. And in turn they take it out on me. Why, you ask? They see something in me they wish they could have too. They may not realize it but that is what is happening.

And guess what, they can have what I have. The answer is simple. It is Jesus Christ! A true relationship with Him will erase all those heart issues they have carried with them for so long. They will see you and I in a totally different light. Gone will be the feelings of jealousy or hate. Those feelings will be replaced by love, true agape love.

I want to be transparent enough that others can see Jesus in me. I pray they can look beyond my imperfections and know that I am only human. I am His servant. We are ALL His children. I pray they can work through their heart issues, and come to know Him. He is the peace that passes all understanding.

"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:7

Comments

Hmm, yeah, thaaat has been one of my biggest trials. It's getting easier to handle, the sting still hurts but doesn't last as long.

So sad that people still play games when they're older. They ignore you under the guise of ...whatever they've made up in their head to justify that type of immaturity. Bothersome...but reality. So sorry you're dealing with this.
Kim said…
You are so right! I like the way you put that, about how it stings but not lasting as long. Thank the Lord! Unfortunately, this has been going on for a time. However, I am older now, which makes me a bit wiser (I hope)and I know it's not about me, it's them. I have just learned to pray for them instead of taking offense.
M.Gallegos said…
One of my elders told me recently "people will always try to draw you out of their circle. Draw bigger circles!" I took his advice, and when I drew bigger circles those who attempted to draw me out, drew themselves out.
Kim said…
Wow! What excellent advice! Indeed, I shall do that. Thank you!
Tena said…
I have this same problem, although like you, as I've gotten older and wiser, I've learned how to not let it affect me a much.

P.S. I can see Jesus in you. :-) ♥ you!
Kim said…
Tena, thank you! That is the most wonderful thing someone could ever tell me! Love you!

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