Tuesday, July 22, 2008

It's a Womans world :)

This is not my typical post, but I needed a good laugh. A friend sent me an email and it said "every woman should read" I thought I would share. Some of you may have seen these before. (disclaimer: these are only jokes, this doesn't happen in real life, husbands and wives always get along and are perfectly sweet to one another)

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Joe and his wife Ann listened to the instructor,

'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'

He addressed the man,

'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'

Joe leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
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WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.

The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and

you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me..'

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'

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The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him

at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,

when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece

7 comments:

Danielle said...

Very Very True.

Danielle said...

Man vs woman cracked me up. And words is totally Jeremy. No matter what a man says they would not know what to do if we weren't around

Daniel said...

LoL...This is perfect timing. I was sitting in a waiting room at the college yesterday, when a woman who was waiting noticed the group that came in after her was beginning to be seen & she was being skipped. She created quite a scene, but made it clear that she had kids at home & she had been waiting for 2 hours. The way the staff jumped to her outbursts made me laugh inside. LoL...I thought: A man's growl is no match for a woman's roar! I hate to say it, but SOME times you gals have us guys beat...LoL

Kim said...

Danielle~ you are right, they only act like they can do it all, but one of my favorite sayings is "Behind every great man, is a great woman" (or even greater woman would be better)
Daniel~ that is hilarious, woman tend to throw their weight around and get what they want. Once you make a woman upset, it takes a lot to pacify her. Now don't you want to get married??

Jessica Noriega said...

HA HA HA HA I love it!!! My favorite was the note writing. Richard is always telling me I should become a lawyer becaue I never seem to lose an argument. LOL

Kim said...

truthfully, when I was posting these, I almost put ..For you, Jessica!

Samantha and Stephanie said...

love it!